Consider a boy

Consider a boy….

We go to ChinaFor a child
A daughter

We are deeply disturbed at the vastness of girls
Abandoned
Lost
Alone

We love each of these girls
Even as we are grateful to adopt just one
And we are proud to teach them about
Girl power

We want to right the balance
We want our girls to know they are not a second choice
We want to raise them to be powerful

And many of us believe
That boys in China are Little Emperors
Adored
Indulged
Loved beyond belief

Many are.

And yet
Should you have the great privilege of visiting an orphanage
You will see boys
And not just a few

Many, many boys
Who perhaps were a second child
But, in all sad reality,
Were probably abandoned because of some special need

Cleft lip, cleft palate
Heart disease
Club feet or vision problems

Issues that, in the states,
Are treatable or at least manageable
Issues that, in the states,
Would not define them or their lives

And they wait.

They wait for a home
A family
A chance

Maybe you weren't thinking of
A boy

Maybe you weren't thinking
Special needs

Maybe you were envisioning
Your fairy tale

And you should never apologize
For that

We all have our fairy tale
We all have our vision
We all have our dreams

But so do these children
Be they girls, abdicated to a less than status
By the power of culture and tradition
Or
Be they boys, left to live in an orphanage
Left without the same opportunities
As their parented peers

When I first dreamed of parenthood
It wasn't to an adopted child

I dreamed of pregnancy
Of womanhood
Of giving life

I grieved the loss of that first dream
And yet
The second dream was not
Second best.

Instead of giving birth to a child
I gave birth
To me

I became a mother
When I began to love

I became a mother
When I began to whisper sweet goodbyes
To the dreams that seemed important
So I could listen to dreams
That would not wait

So today,
I ask you to consider a boy
Consider a special need
Consider that you might be
More than what you ever thought

We adopted our daughter
As a non-special-needs child
And her needs are vast
And global
And tiring
And rewarding

We adopted through the traditional program
Because we couldn't handle special needs

Luckily, God knew better

And now,
The couple who couldn't handle special needs
Has become a family who can handle
Whatever comes its way.

Including a boy.
A boy with special needs
Who has captured our hearts,
Intrigued our minds,
And blessed our days already.

And so I ask you again,

Consider a boy.
Consider that you might be
More than what you ever thought.
Consider.

Just consider.

Melissa
Lucky Mama to Kate
Paperchasing for our first son

I feel like I could have written this. I had found this on one of the Yahoo groups that I belong to and had sent it to Michael back in late October. Today I was cleaning out my mailbox and came across it. It touched me again and I wanted to share. Many thanks to Melissa who wrote this.